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Dear Guest List

Dear Girlfriend,
We are having a New Years Party and Breakfast at our home. My husband and I are debating over the guest list. He wants to invite some old friends that we have not seen in a while, people who I know have had parties and they didn’t invite us. My reponse was, “If I am not on their guest list then they are not on mine. Am I wrong for that? I even saw quite a few of those same former friends in the paper at events including the Power Couples Ball. Not one of them told me they were going or invited me to sit at their tables.
Guest List

Dear Guest List,
I understand your position. I basically feel the same way, “If I am not on their guest list, then they are not mine.” However, there are exceptions to every rule.
Before you scratch any one off your list, check with your husband and make sure he didn’t get an invitation that you never received. I have often found that if I tell the husband, the wife may not ever get the message. I have personally discovered that my husband has been guilty of this as well. We would be invited somewhere and he would fail to tell me until after the event. It’s always “Oh I forgot.” Well, “To err is human.” We all forget, so we have to forgive. .
I believe that relationships and friendships are suppose to be reciprocal. If you haven’t invited me to your home, don’t expect to be invited to mine. However, someone has to make the first move. We all expect to get what we give but when it doesn’t work that way, don’t freak out. Simply recognize where you stand and work from that new position. In other words, you can still be friends and still be on each others guest list but not on the small intimate list.
In defense of my Power Couple attendees and table host, The Power Couples Ball is a paid advertised event. You can go just like they can. You get the paper just like they do. People choose how they want to spend their money and no one is trying to count yours. So if they are not treating you, they are usually not calling you. You are responsible for your social life. However if you see their picture in the advertisement or on the website, that simply means they have tickets available to purchase. I’m sure they would welcome your call so they can fill their tables quickly and we can get the money paid to the Grand Hyatt. Some couples sell one table and are done. Some of the more popular couples may sell 2 or 3 with ease. I display the power Couples who are being helpful by selling tickets to other fun progressive couples. “Team work makes the dream work.” But everyone pays to date their own spouse. If they gave someone tickets in the past, it may have been to introduce them to the event but that is not the norm and no one should expect that of them every year. Looking for a hand out will surely get you off my list,.
There are so many reasons you may not be on a list and you should not take it personal. Sometimes people do not invite you because they know you already have plans or will not be in town. So they do not bother to call. Recognize that every party is different. Some parties are alumni parties, some parties are work parties, some are fraternity or sorority parties, other parties are family gatherings or neighborhood parties. Then their are the children parties strictly for the parents and the children. I’m so glad no one expects me to come to those. I had 4 children and I already paid my dues. Some times people forget about you when they have not seen you in a while even when they love you. I have been guilty of that myself. Don’t get caught up being vindictive. It’s your party, invite the people you like, the people whose company you enjoy. Have a great party and a Happy New Year!

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