I am about ready to leave my husband. If it wasn’t for our 3 children, I would be gone. We do nothing except go to work and come home. Then he turns the TV on and we don’t even look at that together because he wants it on MSNBC and ESPN. To make it worst, I go to bed and he stays up and fall asleep on the couch. Our sex life is not happening at all. I know its been at least 2 months. It’s like I am not here, unless he is looking for dinner. I must admit he is helpful. He does take out the garbage and keep the yard manicured to a tee. He is a good father too, he takes our son to little league practice and our girls adore him, but I don’t anymore. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t like the way he dresses. He still dresses like he did in college. I see other men in there jeans and blazers and he is always in shorts and tennis shoes. He never talks to me and when he does, I don’t like his conversation. He is so negative. We never go anywhere. I see all the things going on in the paper and I get disgusted because he has yet to take me anywhere. How can I fix this. I know we are in trouble because I keep thinking about my exit plan.
Tired in Tampa.
Dear Tired In Tampa,
If your husband is employed, the father of your children, not beating yo azz, not strung out on drugs, not a pedophile or a constant cheat, you need to sit your azz down somewhere and make yourself happy. All marriages go through what you are going through but you must stick and stay to get the rewards of a successful marriage and well balanced kids. .
In my opinion, staying for the kids is good. I wish more would stay for the kids like they did in the old days. I believe the kids would be better, kinder and more disciplined because children need the constant supervision and love of both parents and grandparents too... if possible. I had both parents and grandparents and so did my children. I believe I am stronger and a more confident woman for it and so are my kids. We were protected and had no molestation which we attribute to not having different men in and out.
. If you are bored, you can bet your bottom dollar he is bored too. You thinking about leaving him, hmph!, He may be thinking about leaving you. If you want him to step up his game, you better step up yours. If you want to go somewhere, tell him and make plans. Stop waiting on him to come up with the social calendar. It’s your place to bring some excitement into your home as much as it is his. .From my experience most men don’t initiate that unless its part of their job and if the wife is not careful and says she doesn’t want to go (one too may times) he will stop asking you to go to those events.
Stop looking for what’s wrong with your husband and start focusing on what’s right. You have all the things most women want . If you are comparing your husband to mine and how he dresses, then I handle most of that. So get busy. If you want your husband to wear a blazer, then buy a blazer. He is your husband. If you want your husband to wear cuff links and cuff link shirts then buy one every now and then, slowly dispose of the others. If you don’t know where to go, we shop at Gentlemen’s Boutique on Florida Avenue. If you think you can’t afford him, you are wrong. He often has a $10 clearance table and you can grab your man something. He even offers his regular customers layaway.
Sweetheart, every man needs a jump start and a little help every now and then. You are blessed, don’t let the Devil fool you. There were times I thought of leaving, thought everyone was doing so much better or having all the fun. Ohh I am so glad I had the right support system to bring me back to my senses. I thank God for my husband daily, you should do the same and watch your relationship change. Plan to attend the Power Couples Ball!