Is The Department of Children And Family Destroying (DCF) Lives?

It was a Tuesday night about 15 minutes to nine when I got the call. I had already dressed for bed. Daryl was just settling in with the remote in his hand, looking for something we both could enjoy on TV. I will admit, I go to bed early now, but after 35 years of marriage, I have concluded that couples should go to bed before they are actually ready to go to sleep, if they want a good healthy sex life. And, I thank God that Daryl and I still have that (but that’s another story.)
When his named popped up on my cell phone, my heart began to race. Since loosing my son, Braxton, in a car accident years ago, I just respond to things differently now. I know that lives change in an instant and every second matters. I just knew something was wrong because he just doesn’t call me at night.
The call was from my god son (my assignment from God). who respectfully calls me Miss. His voice was in a whisper but desperate.”Miss DCF is here to take my child. They are trying to take my child Miss”
What? Why? I demanded.dcf logo
“Miss I don’t have any minutes on my phone, it may go dead. but DCF is here to take Adrianna. Miss help me please, I’m scared” The phone went dead.
Panicked, I jumped out of bed and began to get dressed. All I could think of was my sweet Adrianna and how she clings to her dad. She was a preemie and her dad had always been there. I had tried to instill in him that a man does not leave his family. He and Tiff had gotten an apartment and we helped to set them up, even though I didn’t believe in shacking and still don’t. However, I do believe that we should encourage our young men to be responsible and they should marry and stay together. Everyone who knows me, knows that. Tiff and Mike were trying and I felt it was my duty to help them..
Knowing that Adrianna had never been in the care of anyone other than her immediate family. I felt “I must go get her, before they send her to some unfamiliar place. Who knows how they are going to treat her and she will not be able to tell us. I had heard all the foster horror stories. This was not going to happen to our Adrianna.” I dressed quickly and Daryl dragged along slowly trying to talk me out of leaving our comfortable bed. He tried to assure me they would not, could not take Adrianna. “They would have had to have a problem before” he stated. “She is healthy, clean, and happy, there was no reason to take her.” However, I heard the desperation in Mike’s voice and I knew in my soul there was a problem.
mike goodloe1While on our way, Mike began to text. “Tiff is talking too much.” “She is telling this white woman about our every argument.” In Tiffany’s, defense, she was raised in a white world and went to school with white children. She graduated from Sickles. Like my children, she seemed to believe she would be given the same treatment or consideration until reality showed her, we are always judged harder and harshly.
When we arrived and knocked on the door, I was greeted by a Black officer who knew me and he kindly and patiently explained the situation inside. “We were called to support DCF” he said. I asked to take the baby out and he explained that was not possible. Why? I asked. We were told we could not come in and we were not allowed to see Mike, Tiffany or hold Adrianna.
Then through the cheap walls and door, I heard the click of handcuffs, The door opened with Mike begging and we all exclaimed, “Why are you arresting him?” One of the officers said, “He has a warrant.” Mike retorted, “No I don’t, for what?.”
I immediately I fell to my knees and began to cry out begging God to intercede on his behalf.

Mike cried out, “Uncle Daryl, Uncle Daryl, please come get me.” My husband humbled himself and began to beg the officer, “Please don’t do this. He did not hurt anyone. Tiffany and the baby are fine. You are destroying their lives. You may be costing him his job and ability to provide for his family.” Daryl shouted everything he could think of as I kneeled on the cold concrete crying and praying fervently to the top of my lungs. I could tell one of the young white officers did not want to take him.
As they took Mike away, the Black officer helped me to my feet and into the apartment to calm down. When we finally entered the apartment, I didn’t see any disarray. I later found out, this incident had transpired from Monday, MLK holiday. Mike had gone to Applebee’s after work for drinks with friends. He had gotten into an argument with someone and came home upset. Tiffany wanted him to sleep it off, he wanted to go out again. They argued. She blocked the door. He pushed her and she pushed back. Those of you who are married for any length of time may know how that goes. “Those of you without sin cast the first stone.”
However, the white lesbian couple that lived below called the police and we believe DCF. That night, the police talked to Tiffany. She assured them she was safe and was not afraid of Mike. She told them that they had been arguing and that she would go spend the night at her mom’s. Mike stayed home and slept it off. To our surprise, although she told the officer she did not want to press charges and the police did not say anything to Mike, somehow there was a warrant.
In retrospect, the gay White woman never liked Mike for whatever reason, but she did like Tiffany. And she had called once before during Thanksgiving after one of their arguments. What ever dysfunctions she had experienced in her life may have prompted her to call. However, Tiffany did not call for help. She didn’t have a problem. She was fine handling her business.
The next day we watched Mike on video court. A No Contact order was placed between Mike and Tiffany and a $500 dollar bail was set, which we paid. Mike was processed out about 5pm which meant he missed Adrianna’s hearing at 1:30.
Daryl and I went, I didn’t want to miss it, in case I had to take her home with us. I put a tangerine in my purse because I knew Adrianna like those. She and I always shared one when she came to visit. To my surprise, there was no Adrianna at court. Mike and Adrianna were missing. How were they going to make an assessment on a baby and father they had never seen before or together?
As I entered the courtroom, I saw we were in Judge Bauman’s court. I immediately felt better. I knew he was a husband and father and felt he would understand marital squabbles and not disrupt a child’s life for that but that was not the discussion. It was all about placing Adrianna away from her parents, not giving back the child that never should have been taken. When I looked at the 3 representatives for DCF and heard their assessment, I immediately began to assess them. I wondered if the one Black lady, who looked to be my daughters age, even had a relationship or if she was raised in a house with both parents. Surely if you are going to judge relationships, you should have at least... had one! However, when I looked at them, it reminded me of a facebook post I had read that said “Often times You are being judged by people who don’t even have their shit together.”
After raising four successful children, in spite of heated loud arguments, pushing, shoving and throwing things, when angry and financial struggles, I know how relationships go. We are an emotional people. It’s even demonstrated in our church worship. After hearing that Adrianna needed to be removed from Tiffany because she did not leave Mike after 3 altercations. I thought who would leave for that! And what 3 altercations is this woman referring to? There were no black eyes, bruises or scars. I later found it was 3 arguments Tiffany had shared, when asked about their last 16 months together. She used Tiffany’s complaints about her relationship to take her child. My young people stop sharing your story with these investigators. They’re not your therapist and do not care about you. Everything you say will be used against you. I thank God my neighbors never called the police on us. I can’t believe she came in their home and took an unharmed baby and may not give her back for a year. This is so wrong. Someone please Help!

 

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| 1549 views | February, 1st, 2016
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