Dear Shattered Sister

Dear Girlfriend, 

 When I went home for my old friends funeral in our hometown of Alabama, I saw a young man that looked just like my sister’s husband and a lot like my nephew.   I asked an older friend of ours, “Who is that child’s daddy?”  To my surprise, she snapped back, “Girl it’s is your brother in laws child, you didn’t know? I said, “Hell naw.” She then asked,  “Does your sister know? I replied, “I don’t think so but she is about to know.” I was going to call her right then and there but my phone was dead. I asked to use her phone and she said,  “Nooooo. Girl you need to stay out of that” and would not give me her phone. 

  Girlfriend even though my sister and I live in different cities, we are still very close and talk often. She is only 2 years older than me. I never married but my sister has been married for 20 years, has 2 children and lives in Atlanta.  She married her high school sweetheart right after college who later became a minister. She’s not a house wife but she doesn’t work full time either  because she doesn’t have to.  However, she is very active in the community and with her sorority. I thought my sister and brother n law were a Power Couple.  I then asked who was that child’s mother. I do remember hearing her name once a long time go.   For the record, that kid was about 14 years old. My nephew is 18 getting ready to go off to college and my niece is 15. So this betrayal was definitely during their marriage. Shouldn’t I tell my sister?

Shattered sister. 


Dear Shattered Sister,

Do not take this back to your sister.  If she is doing well, why would you want to break her down with thatand it will most definitely break her down.  In this case, what she doesn’t know will not hurt her and you do not want to break your sister’s heart. She will find out soon enough.... if she doesn’t already know. 

 We all know A lot of married men have cheated and were never caught and vice versa.  They were allowed to be  to be faultless. You would be surprise at what married folk have gone through, know about each other and have forgiven.  His unfaithfulness does not mean they are not a Power Couple it just mean he was tempted and He failed the test. He cheated and the proof is there for the world to see.  

I learned long ago, that  Power Couples are not perfect but they have  concluded they are stronger together than they are apart and the good in their relationship out weighs the bad.   Hopefully this is a wake up call for  all the married women reading this article living in lallal land. .  You can’t  put all your faith and hope in a man because he will disappoint you.  You see, even the good ministers fall short. Sometimes that is what runs them to the pulpit.... dealing with their sins in their lives, calling out to God trying to be forgiven.  

   Is your brother in law a low down dirty dog or is he a good man?  Should a mistake made 16 years ago out weigh the good he has done with your sister and their children? Here is your dilemma  If you tell her she will feel compelled to make a decision that she may not be prepared to make right now.  They  are in the process of raising her children and she needs their daddy’s support and his finances. You surely don’t want to disrupt the children lives. Your niece and nephew needs the support of their father and unless your sister is well off enough to do it on her own. If you tell your sister and she stays, she will be embarrassed and it may cause a strain between the two of you and she will probably talk to you less.   If you tell her and she leaves and she struggles or if her children began to act out without the supervision of two parents in the house, she may blame you or resent you for their failures. It happens!

   Now what you need to do is encourage her to keep growing and doing the things she loves to do and make sure she stays active with friends and family. Then she can be all right if and when this slaps her in her face.  Girl, men are  full of surprises. The best one aint snap!

Tampa Bay Tammy

Radio and TV Personality Tampa Bay Tammy, Advice Columnist Dear Girlfriend. COO of N-Touch News. Studied Sociology at University of South Florida Studied Elementary Education at University of Memphis
Category: Dear Girlfriend

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