Feeling Dumped In Dunedin

Dear Girlfriend, 

   My very close friend’s husband got a big promotion and relocated to St. Louis about 6 years ago. Since she didn’t have to work anymore, she found herself quite lonesome. She would call at least once a week and we would laugh and share what was going on in each others lives. She would visit me and I would visit her.  Our children were close, so it was just a great friendship. We would meet in different cities when something was popping and do some shopping too.   I really enjoyed her and her wisdom and I thought she valued mine. 

Although neither of us pledged in college and never wanted to, I  suggested that maybe she should now, so she could have a more active social life because her husband stayed very busy.  I called my cousin, who is a very active AKA there and she helped her to get on line to pledge their alumni chapter. 

   Since she pledged, I have spoken to my friend twice in 6 months. Her whole conversation is about her sorority sisters. I ws a bit shocked because she doesn’t even know those women. What really bothered me was I heard from an AKA friend of mine that she recently came home and hung out with all these chicks she never even liked.  I swear I am not jealous, but I must admit, I am a bit hurt. I feel betrayed because one of the girls she was hanging with disrespected my marriage some years ago and she knows all about it because she is the one who told me. I believe I will see my friend at the Essence Music Festival but I don’t know how to act now.  How should I handle her? Do I have a right to be angry. Would you be angry? 

Feeling Dumped in Dunedin


Dear Feeling Dumped in Dunedin, 

   Be happy for your friend. She was lonesome and now she is not. You did a good thing by calling your cousin and getting her active.  I know when I relocated from Memphis years ago I was very lonesome and as you get older and not in the work force it’s even harder to make new friends.

     Don’t let the Devil fool you, your friendship is in tact and is still valued. She is just consumed with her new life and new responsibilities of being a part of an organized society of educated women. Thank God your life is busy and you don’t need to pay to be a part of a social organization to be complete at this stage of your life.   

       My love for my close friends have never changed except when I found out one said or did something malicious to me, or my family. You haven’t said or done anything malicious have you?

 Genuine friends may not see or hear from each other in years but when they get to together it’s just like they never ever parted. There is a sign in my home that reads “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay a while, make footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.” I believe some come for a season and some for a lifetime. 

I must admit, on my short trips back home, I too have been guilty of not calling my friends who I truly love and value hanging with.  In her defense, when she came home, she may have had a tight schedule but would’ve loved to have spent some time catching up with you... had you been in the vicinity.  I am sure she does not mean to neglect you, she is just caught up with her new social life and circumstances. Since you wrote this letter, I called a few friends to insure they don’t feel dumped. 

  We must always remember the phone works both ways. If  you want to talk to your friend, call her.  Stop waiting on her to call you! Tell your friend you miss her and looking forward to seeing her soon.  When you see her, smile and enjoy her company.  “To have a friend you must be a friend.” Heeyyy!!!


Tampa Bay Tammy

Radio and TV Personality Tampa Bay Tammy, Advice Columnist Dear Girlfriend. COO of N-Touch News. Studied Sociology at University of South Florida Studied Elementary Education at University of Memphis
Category: Dear Girlfriend

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