Happily Dating

I am 28 years old and I have been dating a guy for a year and 2 months.  He has an apartment in Brandon and I live in new Tampa. He has a roommate and I live alone.  When we first started dating, I had a roommate too but she got a new position and relocated about 3 months ago.  Now, he and I spend a lot of time together but more at my place, since  I am alone.  We eat together at least 4 nights a week.  Sometimes he cooks for me and sometimes I cook for him. He brings me takeout and we go out to restaurants. Now since my roommate has moved, he stays the night a lot but I am careful to insure it’s not nightly.  I told him, “I don’t shack.” He respects that.

Well the other night, he announced that he was not going home for Christmas and asked me what were my plans for the holidays. I told him I was going to my aunt’s house. He implied that he would like to spend Christmas with me and my family. Panic went all through my body. Girlfriend, I have a very large family and I am not sure if I am ready for him to meet them.. I don’t know what they are going to say and how they are going to act.  Some of my family can be quite ratchet. I want to invite him to come but I am afraid if he does come, all the questions are going to start pouring in and run him off.  I can hear them now “When are you going to get married?”  I like him and he likes me and we are doing fine. What do you think?

--Happily Dating

Dear Happily Dating,

I think you should be glad that he wants to spend Christmas with you and your family. This is the next progression of a committed relationship and a good sign that he wants to move forward with you.  Most men who do not want anything but a sexual relationship, are not trying to meet your family.  The less family members they know, the less chance they have of running into someone in the streets that knows you, while they are dating other women.  If he wants to see your family, that’s a sign that he is not thinking about pursuing other women.

I believe the best thing that can happen in a relationship is for a man to meet a woman’s family.  He needs to know that people love you and he will be held accountable for how he treats you. If your lover does not know your family, don’t’ be fooled, he is not your boyfriend.

Those questions that you are dreading, are just what you need to help move your relationship forward (unless you just want to be a girlfriend or a side piece all your life). Some women never marry.  They can pull a man but don’t know how to keep them. I often wonder if its because they do not know how the natural progression of a relationship should be. They do some things too soon and just do not know how to seal the deal.  Some women talk that dumb stuff like, “I don’t want to get married” but are shocked and hurt when they find the man they were sleeping with is marrying someone else.  If all the questions run him off, then he didn’t want anything anyway.  Furthermore if he is going to run off, let him get on out of the way while you are still young. After 30 the picking gets slim.  Some women have wasted all their twenties with these invisible boyfriends. In other words, fooling with men who were  not serious about them, men who would not be seen in public with them.  Thank God that’s not you.

If you enjoy going to be with your family, then he will too. The sooner you find out if he can hang and how he interacts with your family the better. You don’t want to invest 2 years into a relationship with a man who does not really want you. Know that you do not have a problem.  So do not create one.

Now what you really need to do is see if he will go to church with you. God is good.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Heyyy!!!

Tampa Bay Tammy

Radio and TV Personality Tampa Bay Tammy, Advice Columnist Dear Girlfriend. COO of N-Touch News. Studied Sociology at University of South Florida Studied Elementary Education at University of Memphis
Category: Dear Girlfriend

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