One Night Stand

One Night Stand

Dear Girlfriend,
I am feeling quite stupid right now! I am 35 years old, educated, employed with benefits, and pregnant by a man I barely know. He is my friend’s husband cousin and we met at their wedding. I liked him on sight and we just clicked. I must admit I had been lonesome and dreaded going home alone. So I allowed him to come back to my apartment for drinks and he said he would Uber it from here. I had finally gotten my own place decorated it and was feeling quite proud of everything and kind of wanted to show it off. I realize now it was a bad decision but I must admit, I truly enjoyed myself. The next day we had brunch and he flew out.
Yes, I know it is his, because I was celibate for a year before him and have not been with anyone since. I haven’t told anyone yet because I’m not even sure he really likes me or if I was just a weekend fling. I have always been the one who had it all together now I am falling apart. I am also a little embarrassed because he never called me after he got home. I deliberately did not take his number but gave him mine so he would have to do the calling. Ironically, he is not on social media. I know he is not married but I figured he must have someone and went back to his life as usual.
Although this is not how I wanted to start off my career and I never wanted to be a single mother, I realize that I want my baby and I am kind of excited about the idea of being a mother. I think if we got to know each other, maybe we could actually get together. He is a very nice, handsome, smart guy and he does have a job but he did not complete his degree. What shall I do? How long should I wait to tell him? How should I tell him? One Night Stand


Dear One Night Stand,

First of all you need to get an AIDS test. If you can get pregnant You can catch AIDS as well. I’m so sorry to drop that bomb but it is what it is.
On a more positive note: I am an optimist when it comes to love. Lets not assume. Let’s live with no regret. Get in touch with him as soon as possible. Not tomorrow but today. Call your friend and get his number. You don’t have to reveal your dilemma but do tell your friend you like the guy you met at her wedding. She may share some of the good, the bad and the ugly about him. You want to hear it all, but come to your own conclusions. What bothers her, may not bother you but still Call.
Everyone has there life going on and you need to get in touch with him before he gets into something deep and permanent. Tell him you truly enjoyed your weekend and would like to see him again. Preferably on his turf so you can see who he really is. Anyone can fake the funk for a weekend. He may not be married, but he may still be in a committed relationship and you do want to know if that is the case. If he is all that you say he is; a handsome BMW (black man working) he is a hot commodity.
As far as him not calling you, anything could have happened. He could have lost his phone. It happens all the time. Technology may have failed you. For all we know, he could have called or text and you didn’t get it. He may still be waiting to here back from you. He may feel you didn’t ask for his number because you didn’t like him. He may feel you have it all together and he doesn’t, so maybe you wouldn’t want him. Let him know you do. Let him know you think he is all that and would like to see if you two could have more. He may have the same feelings. People often times bring baggage and insecurities to a relationship and if you don’t communicate through them they may carry them for life. Write him a letter and give it to him personally. Send him a copy of the paper and tell him you wrote the Dear Girlfriend letter or send him the website so he can read it online. Be sure to apologize for interrupting his life but go for it. Its time to be Bold and Beautiful, but sweet.
May God bless you and shine his grace upon you and your baby.

Tampa Bay Tammy

Radio and TV Personality Tampa Bay Tammy, Advice Columnist Dear Girlfriend. COO of N-Touch News. Studied Sociology at University of South Florida Studied Elementary Education at University of Memphis
Category: Dear Girlfriend

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